


Alex Danvers, Kryptonian catnip.

by Worffan101



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Danvers is the best, F/F, Help I wrote this instead of sleeping and after drinking about a gallon of earl grey, Samantha "Sam" Arias Needs a Hug, Useless Lesbians, also she's like really smart, implied naughtiness, sappy useless lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21867745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Worffan101/pseuds/Worffan101
Summary: Written as a gift for the Supergirl secret santa 2019 prompt exchange and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or writing lol.  Prompt was ""Have fun saving the world, but if you ruin my holidays by dying, I will kill you." (please no angst, I am fragile)".  Nice prompt lol, I had trouble coming up with a suitably lighthearted way to get that to work.Oh, right, summary.  Well, Alex Danvers is a magnet for beautiful intelligent ladies, and especially beautiful intelligent Kryptonians, and Samantha Arias technically qualifies as both.Oh and Supercorp are basically married in this because there's literally no way they aren't at this point lol.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers, implied Supercorp - Relationship
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127
Collections: Super Santa Femslash 2019





	Alex Danvers, Kryptonian catnip.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PoppyCartinelli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoppyCartinelli/gifts).



Alex double-checks her makeup for the umpteenth time, this time in the mirror over her kitchen sink. “You’re sure I don’t need more mascara?” 

“If you put on more mascara you’ll look like a racoon,” Kara assures her, munching on leftover potstickers as she sits on Alex’s kitchen countertop. “Trust me, Alex, you’re going knock her socks off. And more--that dress is a guaranteed first-date sex dress, top pick in the _What to buy when Rich Uncle Sidney Dies_ category in _CatCo Annual Fashion Review_.” 

“How did you even afford this, anyway?” Alex asks as she smooths down her tight black evening gown. It leaves a lot less to the imagination than Alex normally likes, but she has to admit that it does look _fabulous_ on her. “Especially one for each of us?” 

“Lena felt that she hadn’t apologized enough for making Kryptonite when she was trying to cure Sam,” Kara shrugs. “I told her, it was _my_ place to apologize because I over-reacted and I should’ve trusted her, but you know how Lena gets. She bought out Turing Pharma and dropped the sale price of Daraprim below cost before I managed to calm her down.” 

“That’s a bad thing?” 

“It is if it means that jerk Martin Shkreli and his rotten cronies get any money from it,” Kara mutters darkly. 

“Point,” Alex allows. “She didn’t need to buy one for me, though!’ 

“Strictly speaking no, but I dare _you_ to argue with my future wife while she’s on an apology binge..” Kara eyes her sister critically. “Strappy heels with that dress.” 

“Seriously? I’m going to look so...so _girly_!” 

“Just try it,” Kara wheedles. “Let yourself have some fun being super femme!” 

“Me, Alex Danvers, secret agent, dressing _super_ _femme_?” 

“If the look works, go with it.” Kara turns her head and squints at the door. “Hey, she’s here. I’ll lurk back here until you two head down to her car, then Lena and I are headed to Paris for the night with Ruby.” 

“Right.” Alex gulps, struggling to hide her nerves. “Well, uh...have fun in Paris?” 

Kara gives her the trademark Sunny Danvers grin. “We will. And, hey, Alex?” 

“Yeah, Kara?” 

Kara lays a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder, and it’s a welcome steadying influence. “You’ll be fine. Trust me.” 

“Hah,” Alex scoffs. But she walks over to the door anyway, grabs the knob--hand shaking with nerves--looks back at Kara (who gives her a thumbs-up), gulps to steady her nerves, and decides to get it over with by throwing the door open violently. 

“Hey, Sam, I’m...uh…” 

Samantha Arias has one leg halfway into her tuxedo pants, hopping up and down on her other foot as she tries to change lower garments, clearly having thrown on the rumpled undershirt, shirt, and jacket on the move. She looks up with a deer-in-the-headlights expression as Alex speaks, and the teenage girl to her right rolls her eyes with comically exaggerated exasperation. 

“Um, uh, hi, Alex, wow, I mean, you look, um, fabulous, I, damn pants…” 

“Hi Aunt Alex!” Ruby Arias says from her mother’s side. “What Mom means is she thinks you’re hot!” 

Kara whoops from behind Alex as the agent feels her cheeks flush hot. Sam stumbles, falling forwards, and Alex easily catches her in muscular arms. 

Alex’s brain short-circuits. Samantha Arias is a remarkably beautiful woman on a bad day, and blushing fiercely in Alex’s arms is definitely not Sam’s least attractive moment. Quite the opposite, in fact. “Um,” Alex manages with remarkable tact. 

“Oh my god,” Sam apologizes. “I’m so sorry, Alex, I had a meeting that ran late and I had to pick up Ruby from school and I literally got changed on the way...well, mostly…” 

“Mom, Aunt Alex, have fun on your date,” Ruby says, shouldering her way past the adults and trotting up to Kara. “Aunt Kara, is Aunt Lena all ready?” 

“Last I checked she was on her way home,” Kara replies, checking her phone. “Sam, Alex, have fun, OK? Lena and I will take Ruby to the Louvre for her art-history project, then we’ll set her up with a couple of movies while we head out, and then we’ll all go to the zoo or something like that on Sunday while you two are enjoying your weekend.” 

“Nothing too violent!” Sam insists as she pulls back from the stammering, blushing Alex and finishes pulling on her pants. Ruby rolls her eyes as she heads for Kara. 

“ _Mo-om!_ I’ve seen Billy Butcher murder a bunch of guys with a laser-baby on _The Boys_ , I don’t mind violent stuff!” 

“Well, I _do_ ,” Sam says firmly. “And I don’t know _what_ Erica’s thinking, letting you watch that kind of thing on your sleepovers! Kara, please don’t…” 

“Don’t worry, my co-worker Nia’s going to be there, she’s covering a fashion show but she’s volunteered to babysit while Lena and I are...um, enjoying our date night. And I’m pretty sure Nia hasn’t watched a violent movie in a decade.” 

“...Ruby, you’re sure you’re OK with this?” Sam checks her blouse, straightening her hair with one hand, not that there’s anything wrong with her hair as it is in Alex’s extremely gay opinion. 

“ _Yes, Mom_ ,” Ruby groans with a roll of her eyes. “Have a good date, Mom, Aunt Alex is the best and she’ll be really good for you. Aunt Kara, we can stop at the crepe place, right?” 

“You betcha!” Kara grins, and picks the teenager up with one arm. “Alex, Sam, you two have a _great_ night, and a fabulous weekend.” 

And she’s out the window before either Alex or Sam can react. 

“...so, um, you look great,” Sam manages after a minute. 

Alex tries, she really does. But what comes out is, “You know that Ruby has a thing for Erica and they were fighting because they didn’t understand what a crush is, right?” 

Sam’s eyes go wide. “Wait, they--but the sleepovers--how--is my gaydar really that-- _what_?” 

It takes them another half an hour to get to the restaurant despite it being only a ten-minute walk away. Sam is _still_ complaining about her gaydar. Alex finds it kind of adorable. 

***

The restaurant is a three-star Italian place, the reservation another gift from Lena “rich girl guilt” Luthor. Alex is pretty sure that just looking at the prices would give her a heart attack if she weren’t distracted by the swell of Sam’s chest in the tux. 

_Help, I’m so gay!_

“So…” Alex starts, flipping her menu aimlessly over and over. “How’s the therapy going?” Two tables over, a greying businessman with a torso like a bodybuilder grabs his lithe female companion’s hand as she attempts to slip a piece of silverware into her purse. One table to the other side, a woman with green skin gently strokes the shoulder and cheek of a pale blonde using a vine that appears to wrap around the green woman’s arm. Alex is beginning to get suspicious about why Kara set up Alex’s date for this place. 

“Um, alright,” Sam replies, her own menu forgotten as she gazes at Kara’s bright red lipstick on Alex’s lips (“It’ll work, Alex! I love it when Lena wears this kind for me!”). “I’m down to a quarter dose of medication, and I only have nightmares about once a week now.” 

“That’s good!” Alex smiles warmly. “Have you been getting back to work?” 

“Still unemployed and on Lena’s dime. Downside of a job in finance, it’s hard to get back into it when you’re still in intensive therapy.” Sam takes a sip of her water as she glances at Alex’s cleavage, only to quickly look away with a blush. Alex feels herself blushing in response, and wills it to not extend past her neck. “On the plus side, between my savings and Lena...we’re making do. No Gucci shoes, but hey, I spent my first two years after I got out of college raising a daughter in a crappy apartment by myself.” 

“Sorry to hear that.” 

“Don’t be, nobody _needs_ Gucci shoes. Even with Lena buying up every empty house in National City to turn into homes for the homeless, there are hundreds of thousands of people in this city alone who’re _much_ worse off than me.” 

“Fair,” Alex nods. “But still, I’m sorry. It really bites to not have anything to do.” 

“OK, _that’s_ true,” Sam giggles. “Boredom’s probably worse for me than anything. And it’s not like I can go running, you know?” 

“It’s a trigger?” 

“Yeah.” Sam winces. “You know, activity, and crowds and the open city...the breeze doesn’t help. I remember... _power, strength, rage_ …” She shivers, and Alex lays a gentle hand on hers. Sam calms, and looks up with a weak smile. “Thank you.” 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed--” 

“No, it’s fine. Really. Anyway, I started playing video games, if you can believe that.” 

“What, really?” Alex leans forwards with a grin. “This I need to hear.” 

“Oh, it’s a silly story,” Sam demurs with another adorable blush. “So, Ruby wanted this video game called _Mass Effect_ , and I had some spare time and, you know, I try to be a good mother--” 

“You _are_ a good mother, a _great_ mother,” Alex promises her, and Sam lays her hand on Alex’s with a warm smile, causing Alex’s breath to hitch. 

“Thank you. But, anyway, I, ah, started playing the game, just to test it. Make sure it’s appropriate for children, you know. And, um, I sort of got _attached_.” 

“Attached?” 

“ _Well_ , it’s a roleplaying game, and, um, I was having a lot of fun, and I started to really care about my Commander Shepard and her friends, like Garrus, he’s an alien sniper, and Liara, she’s a really cute archaeologist turned spy. It was...yeah. I, um, bought the next two games in the series, and got another copy for Ruby because she was complaining that I was ‘hogging’ the original copy. So now I’m on the third game, and I’ve heard bad things about the ending so I went and got a ‘mod’--that’s an un-official software patch to change the game--for a guaranteed happy ending, because if Lexa Shepard can’t spend the rest of her life with her girlfriend and their little blue babies, _what_ exactly have I spent the last three week playing this game in all of my way-too-much spare time for?” 

Alex covers her chuckle with her hand, but it’s a gentle, soft thing anyway, because _damn_ but Sam is _adorable_ like this, blushing furiously as she describes her unusual pasttime. “That’s so sweet--but, Lexa?” 

Sam clears her throat and looks away, flushing even deeper. “Um, the game lets you, um, pick the main character’s first name and appearance. I thought of another, um, badass alien-fighting heroine who likes women and is great with kids. You, as a matter of fact.” 

Alex knows that this should be weird, but all her brain comes up with is a blush that _definitely_ spreads down past her neck and well down her chest. “Oh.” 

“Um. So. Yeah.” Sam glances from side to side, hunching over nervously. “That’s, um, what I’ve been doing. Hope that’s not, you know, weird.” 

“Uh, it’s kind of, uh...well...I guess that I shouldn’t have been so nervous about you liking me?” Alex manages. 

“Oh, no, of course I like you, you’re amazing, I think _everybody_ likes you, Alex!” Sam gushes. “And I don’t know if I’ve properly apologized yet for breaking your leg--” 

“Hey, that wasn’t _you_ , that was Reign.” 

“Still. I don’t know how you can forgive me so quickly.” 

“Really, Sam, there’s nothing _to_ forgive.” Alex reaches over and squeezes Sam’s shoulder. “Kara told me that about ten million times after I nearly killed her when I was controlled by Myriad. It took me the better part of a year to make peace with what happened then, but I’ve come to accept that I wasn’t in control of my body, that I’m _not_ responsible for what happened.” Her voice wavers a bit, it’s _not_ a memory she likes, but it has to be brought up. “You don’t need me to forgive you because there’s nothing _to_ forgive.” 

Sam gives her a shy but sincere smile. “Alex...thank you. You’re always so sweet, it’s really incredible.” 

Alex shrugs and takes a drink of her water to cover her blush. She’s been doing a lot of that and she’s pretty sure she’s not going to stop anytime soon. “Hey, you’re amazing yourself. Raising a daughter and becoming a CFO before age 35 as a teen mother is...kind of meteoric.” 

“Honestly, half the reason I _got_ the job is that Lena had to clean house after her brother tried to kill Superman. I was actually a forensic accountant, lucked into a Junior VP position at my old company when I caught the previous Junior VP embezzling five hundred million dollars and the Board decided to give me the position as a placeholder, then Lena snapped me up when she bought out that place.” 

“Forensic accountant? That sounds fun.” 

“Yeah, I’m kind of like a numbers detective,” Sam chuckles. 

“Oh, goddamn it,” Alex groans, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“What? Did I say something?” 

“No, it’s not you...I just realized that I have a type.” 

“Oh?” 

“Pretty detectives,” Alex admits, then ducks her head in embarrassment. “My ex, Maggie, worked with the police.” 

“Ah.” Sam clears her throat. “I, um. May have a type, too.” 

“I guess we’re both gay disasters,” Alex mutters. “Where’s the waiter? I need some booze for this.” 

“I see one coming this way. And, point of clarification, I’m bi, not gay.” 

“Close enough for government work,” Alex replies with a grin. Sam chuckles. “I guess Lena and I will have to share the lesbian card.” 

“Isn’t Super--uh, isn’t Kara a lesbian, too?” 

“No, pansexual. Most Kryptonians were, apparently.” 

“...huh.” Sam looks down at her hand with a frown, slowly clenching and unclenching it as the waiter walks up. 

Ordering is a bit nerve-wracking until the waitress assures them that their meal has been pre-paid-for, presumably by Lena. 

“So…” Sam starts as the waitress heads off with their orders and menus, “How’s work at the DEO?” 

“Oh, you know, the usual. Hectic, frustrating...I had to negotiate with a Citadel diplomat over a ship full of Tamaranean refugees, and _that’s_ a pain in the ass, let me tell you--oh, you probably don’t know. Basically, the non-classified part is that the Citadel are an alien empire, they invaded the Vega system, a lawless part of space, and took the planet Tamaran a couple of decades ago. So the royal family was captured and the King and Queen executed, but loyalist rebels smuggled the princesses, Komand’r and Koriand’r, out on a Xepolite freighter. _They_ crash-landed here during my first year of so at the DEO--this is only a couple of years after _new_ Director Henshaw, if you know what I mean, changed the policy on alien refugees. Getting them new identities was one of my first jobs. I ended up having to fight a Citadel bounty hunter, spent a week on bed rest.” Sam is wide-eyed at the tale as Alex gesticulates to convey the impression of fighting a brutish alien shaped roughly like an angry bipedal rhinoceros. “Ever since, the Citadel’s demanded extradition about once a year under some new justification, generally accusing the kids of being terrorists, which is hilarious because I know for a fact that Komand’r is physically incapable of doing half the things they accuse her of, Kori’s only 19, and _neither_ of them has been off-planet since they landed.” 

Alex shakes her head and takes another drink of water, wishing it were wine. “You know. The usual.” 

“Sounds stressful,” Sam comiserrates. “And here I am just sitting around taking advantage of my insane backlog of vacation days.” 

“Ugh, don’t even get me _started_ on _that_ ,” Alex complains. “It’s not just Kara who wants me to take time off, either--J’onn keeps reminding me to take a break. ‘You need it, Alex’, ‘I am a telepath and I can feel you wound tight as a drum, Alex’--I love the guy, really I do, but I haven’t taken more than a few hours’ vacation in over a decade, why should I start now?” 

“Well, maybe I can give you a reason to,” Sam says with a flirty wink, and Alex’s brain comes to a screeching halt of gay and implications. 

“Um,” Alex manages. 

Sam hides a giggle behind her hand. “I’m sorry, the look on your face right now is just _too_ cute!” 

“Hahaha,” Alex manages with a blush that she’s pretty sure reaches her toes. “I mean, if you’re up for it...I’m normally, you know, three dates for, you know, but, um, you’re really pretty and I like you and, well, you see, if you want to, and you’re OK with, you know, I’m up for it, tonight that is, if you are too, and you can stay the night of course, if you want to…” 

Sam cuts her off with a finger on her lips. “Whatever you want, we can do it tonight. Well, except for flying to the moon, not sure I can do that.” 

“...We do have some starships in storage back at the DEO. But I don’t think joyriding in one of those would be a justifiable use of government assets.” 

“Well, I’ll just have to settle for coaxing you out of that dress later,” Sam replies, then blushes deep crimson. “Oh my god. I’m sorry, was that too forward?” 

“No!” Alex squeaks. “Um, no, not at all. Just, um, I haven’t eaten since breakfast...and now I’m getting distracted...so can we, like, um, maybe try to make it through dinner because I’m like five seconds from taking you out of here and heading back to my place, at least if that’s what you like of course…” 

“Right! Right, yes, of course...I mean I wouldn’t mind at all but I’d really rather you eat, Lena and Kara worry about you all the time so I feel like, you know, I should put you first, Alex…” 

“You don’t have to worry about me, Sam, I’m more concerned about you honestly…” 

“Oh fer CRYING out loud!” complains the blonde from the next table. “Just kiss already, why don’tcha?” 

“ _Harleen!_ ” hisses the woman with green skin. 

“Um,” Alex manages, brain once again spinning its wheels. Sam is bright red yet again. 

“What? They _obviously_ wanna fuck, Pam, an’ if I have to listen to _one more minute_ of useless gay waffling I’ma gonna slap ‘em both until they woman up an’ kiss!” 

“ _Harleen, we’re in public!_ ” A vine wraps around the blonde and yanks her down into her seat. 

“...yes, Pam.” Harleen blushes this time, and looks over to Alex and Sam, biting her lip. “Sorry for butting in.” 

“...that’s fine, uh, Harleen,” Sam replies, quicker on the uptake than Alex. “And--Pam?” 

“Dr. Pamela Isley, but Pam’s fine.” Two tables down on the other side, the businessman’s date nudges him and subtly cocks her head at the women on Alex’s right, but he only shakes his head. “This is Harleen, we just eloped last week. Though apparently the honeymoon doesn’t stop her from being a _bad_ girl for me.” Harleen flushes and squirms in her seat. 

“Oh, congratulations! I’m Samantha Arias and this is Alex, my friend and her sister set us up.” 

“Charmed,” says Pam, and Alex finds herself shaking hands with an attractive female ecoterrorist for only the second time in her life. “First date?” 

“Um, yes,” Alex replies. “Aren’t you...that woman, from the, you know…the Stagg Chemical fire?” 

“Ah, yes. I was having a bad month.” Pam rubs her side with a wince. “That was a long time ago, I’m feeling much better now.” 

“Hey, Stagg _was_ corrupt. And polluting protected wetlands. And took advantage of refugee workers. I don’t approve of the methods but the results were fine.” 

“Oh, I’ve got an idea!” Sam says. “How about we pull these tables together and make this a double date?” 

“Can we do that?” Alex asks, looking around. 

“I’m sure I can convince the manager,” Pam says breezily. Harleen giggles. “Are you alright with that idea, Harleen, Alex?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Harleen says perkily. 

“Um, sure,” Alex agrees. “Honestly I’m surprised that you can afford this place, though I’m one to talk.” 

“A friend owes me after I helped him deal with an irritating clown. Also, I have very cheap living standards. I’m surprised that you’re willing to eat dinner next to an ecoterrorist.” 

“Eh, I’ve worked with ecoterrorists before. Well, one.” Alex grimaces. “I don’t really want to talk about it. But...you know. At this point I’d rather work _with_ someone doing the wrong thing for the right reasons than against them, you know? That way my sister and I can hopefully give them the help they need and stop them from doing anything too bad.” 

“That’s a good point,” Sam agrees. 

Then their food comes, and it is exactly as delicious as advertised. 

***

Alex and Sam say good-bye to Pam and Harleen (the latter now wearing one of Pam’s vines around her neck like a collar for some reason), and spend about thirty seconds looking for a taxi (well, _Alex_ looks for the taxi, Sam drank a bit too much and is making Alex’s life difficult by cuddling up to her very closely) before Alex just gives up and they walk back to the apartment. Incredibly, this takes _less_ time than the taxi ride out did. 

They stumble up the stairs, giggling like schoolgirls at a joke Sam told about Kara and Lena, and it takes Alex three tries to open her door as Sam drunkenly nips at her ear. They finally make it inside, Sam throws off her coat and starts clumsily opening her tux, and Alex’s mouth goes dry as Sam’s lacy bra is revealed and--

Alex’s phone rings. 

“Maybe it’ll…” Alex begins hopefully, but then it rings again and she pinches the bridge of her nose with a groan. “Hang on. Just--stay there, I’m definitely into this, but that’s my work phone...Hello?” 

“ _Agent Danvers_ ,” J’onn’s voice rumbles from the other end. “ _We have a situation. Those Citadellian dignitaries are back, and they’ve sent a commando unit after the Tamaranean refugees. Supergirl’s on her way, but you’re needed as well. I’m truly sorry but we’re undermanned after that Branx rampage last week._ ” 

“... _fuck_.” Alex manages. “Yes, sir. On my way, sir.” She hangs up with a groan. “Sam, I’m sorry…” 

“No apologies necessary,” Sam assures her, then grins tipsily. “Have fun saving the world, but if you ruin my holidays by dying, I will _kill_ you, Alex Danvers.” 

“Believe me, you’re, like, _third_ on the list at this point,” Alex grumbles, before ducking into her room to get changed and grab her gun. 

***

Alex breaks her collarbone and spends two weeks being doted on hand and foot by Kara and Sam, both of whom are Very Disappointed (tm). 

Ruby and Nia show up at Alex’s room the next day arguing animatedly about _Freddy vs. Jason vs. the Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ , and Ruby is grounded for a month. (Kara apologizes--apparently nobody in her social circle actually knew or even suspected that bubbly fashionista Nia Nall was a horror buff)

When Alex’s collarbone is finally healed, she and Sam go out on another date. This time, Alex wears the tux and Sam the dress. 

It’s the best night Alex has had in years. 


End file.
